SMS & JOKES(2)

Wife : I will die.
Husband : I will also die.
Wife : why do u want to die?
Husband : because main itni khushi bardasht nahi kar sakta.


Sardar sharab peeta ro raha tha.
Sharab wala : kyon ro rahe ho?
Sardar : aur kiya karon? main jis larki ka naam bhulana
chata hoon. us ka naam yaad he nahi aa raha.


1 pathan pakistan ka flag lene gaya.
Shop wale ne usse flag diya.
pathan ne kuch pocha jis se soun k shop wala pagal hogaya.
Guess!
Pathan : is main aur color dekhao. :p




In art gallery couple sees picture of a girl covered by leaf.
Husband was keep watching her.
wife : ab chaloge bhi ya
Hawa k aane ka intezar kar rahe karte raho gaye?


ek admi ki car se parrot takra k behosh hogaya.
admi parrot ko ghar le gaya pinjre main rakha aur khana diya.
parrot hosh se jaga aur bola jail?
car ka driver mar gaya kiya?


larka hum 25 bhean bhai hain.
larki : kiya aap k ghar family planning wale nahi aate?
larka : aaye tahe schol samjh k vapas chale gaye.


I asked Abhishek what is the difference between
old Umrao Jaan and new Umrao Jaan?
Abhishek: nayi wali se apni setting hai.
aur
old wali se papa ki.


ek sardar ka 20 saal baad beta hua. woh udas hogaya.
2nd dost : yaar udas kyon ho?
Sardar: 20 saal baad beta hua tay "oh vi inna chota"


He: andar gaya?
She: haan gaya.
He: dukha kiya?
she: nahi zara bhi nahi,
He : aur ek bar,
She: ab is main dalo lekin thora tail laga k,
He: ye lo,
She: ahhhh...ouch. .oh is main thora dukha.
He: ab acha laga?
She: haan bohat bohat.
He: ok chote madam ka sandal pack kar do.


Judge: y do u want to divorce?
man: i m not satisfied with my wife.
is he right? judge sys,
wife: pura muhalla khush hai bas is kaminay ko he takleef hai.

SMS & JOKES

sardar: aaj main ne pani ko ullu bana diya.
freind: pani ko ullu? woh kaise?
sardar: oye! subha main ne pani garam kiya
aur thande pani se naha liya



Father: qutub minar kahan hai?
Son: pata nahi.
Father: kabhi ghar se bhi bahar nikla karo.
Son: jamil uncle koun hain?
Father pata nahi.
Son: kabhi ghar pe bhi ruka karo.



ants were taking bath and elephant jumped into pool.
ants go out of water. one ant climbed on to the back
of elephant, all ants cried " dubo dubo k mar sale ko".



sardar dukhi tha
kisi ne pocha kyon tension main ho?
sardar: yaar ek dost ko plastic surgry k liye 3 lakh diye tahe
ab main us ko pehchan nahi pa raha hoon.



man to hotel manager: jaldi chalo, meri wife khirki
se kodh kar jaan dena chati hai.
manager: so .. sir what can i do?
Main: abey khirki nahi khul rahi.



Father beta ye lo 20 rupees mummy se mut kahna
k main nokrani k sath soya tha.
beta: dad aap bohat kanjos ho mummy pore 50 deti hain
jab woh driver k sath soti hain..





doctor to lady: kiya aap dilevery k waqat bache k baap ko
apne pass dekhna chati hain?
Lady: nahi un ko mere husband pasand nahi karte.


woh koun sa waqt hota hai jab bhai bhai ka nahi
beta baap ka nahi, maa beti ki nahi,
beta maa ka nahi hota?
answer: jab shadi main awaz ati hai khana khul gaya.


2007 ka faqir: baji bhoka hoon Allah k waste khana de do.
baji: abhi khananahi bana, baad main aana.
Faqir: mera number le lo,
jab khana ban jaye to miscall kar dena.

Evolution of man:
without shaadi spiderman
shaadi k din superman
shaadi k baad Gentleman
aur
B.V khobsurat hoto sari umar watchman.